😄📸 Smile! We Gonna Remembah Dis Forced Fun Foreva
Get one classy way fo’ skip out on group pictures. But worth askin’ why you stay so agains’ posin’ fo’ da camera.
Not Into Group Photography 🚫📸
My company stay plannin’ one retreat fo’ da whole company. Since we one virtual company, I stay all stoked fo’ meet my co-workers. But da management wen plan one event dat stay makin’ me cringe. Dey stay buyin’ everybody matchin’ company T-shirts an’ takin’ group photos fo’ post ’em on social media.
We one small company, so I goin’ be visible an’ recognizable in dese photos. I one private person an’ no use social media, but plenny friends, colleagues, an’ clients do. I stay terrified at da idea of bein’ in dese photos dat goin’ be posted publicly, an’ anybody I know see ’em, especially my clients an’ outside colleagues.
We one professional services organization, an’ most of us ova 40 wit postgraduate degrees. Group photos in matchin’ T-shirts feel silly an’ unprofessional (an’ honestly, shame-inducin’). Dat kine stuff I would ‘spect from one start-up wit young 20-somethin’s tryin’ fo’ build brand recognition, not from us seasoned professionals.
Is dey any way fo’ me fo’ opt out of dis without lookin’ like one major party-pooper?
Your reaction to dis not-so-harmful team-buildin’ activity stay way too strong. Why stay dat? Now, I hate takin’ my picture, an’ I no big fan of mandatory fun, so I no goin’ judge you fo’ no likin’ group photos. But wat stay so embarrassin’ ’bout wearin’ one company T-shirt wit your co-workers? Why anybody in your life goin’ tink somethin’ negative o’ judgin’ if dey see dem pictures? Maybe it silly, but dat no mean it unprofessional.
I get dat you no like doin’ dis, but people ova 40 wit advanced degrees still take group photos sometimes. If you no like take da group photo, no need. It goin’ be alright. Jus’ tell your co-workers you like fo’ opt out. You no need fo’ explain yourself. You can set boundaries. I hope da rest of da retreat stay awesome.
Wat Do I Really Owe? 🎓💼
I jus’ finish my master’s degree, all thanks to my company’s tuition reimbursement program. Since my employer wen handle da financial part of my education, I owe dem three more years o’ work, or else I gotta pay back da whole amount dey wen reimburse me.
In plenny organizations, usually one higher degree mean one higher salary, even though no guarantee. Still, dis one big reason why I wen want one graduate degree. My yearly review comin’ up, an’ I would love fo’ talk ’bout da possibility of gettin’ one raise now dat I get one master’s. But since my organization wen pay fo’ it, I feel like I no can ask fo’ it.
I also been hope fo’ get one promotion, but I been told we no get da budget fo’ it. I already spend three years in my current position, an’ I stay doin’ work dat go way beyond my job description. How I goin’ negotiate dis when da organization wen already invest plenny money in me through my education? I get dat dey technically paid me wit da degree, but I still feel like I deserve some recognition fo’ da hard work I put in fo’ get dat degree an’ da extra work I been doin’ dat fall outside da scope of my current job. Dis stay leavin’ me frustrated wit my job, but I no get da option fo’ apply fo’ oddah jobs ’cause I no can afford fo’ take on da debt from my master’s degree.
Your job no pay you wit one degree. Da tuition reimbursement stay one benefit dat employers offer fo’ attract an’ keep talented people. You can be grateful fo’ da benefit, but you earn ’em. You no owe your employer nottin’ ‘cept keep doin’ your job well an’ stayin’ fo’ da next three years, like dey wen say.
If you tink you deserve one raise, ask fo’ one raise. Unless it one real small company, I doubt your manager even tinking ’bout da fact you take advantage of da tuition reimbursement benefit. Make some notes fo’ yourself ’bout why you deserve one raise and/or promotion, an’ wen you feel da time right, make your case. You might not get what you like, but no harm in askin’.
Now, ’bout recognition fo’ da work you put in fo’ get your degree, sure, everybody like feel recognized. But dis your employer we talkin’ ’bout. Dey benefit from your advanced education, but dey not family o’ friends, so dey no goin’ really care ’bout da work you do, on your own accord, fo’ improve yourself. Look fo’ dat validation somewhere else.
A Little Gratitude Would Be Nice 🤝💼
I stay 37 an’ I one manager at one nursing home. I wen hire one outstandin’ employee two years ago wen he still fresh outta college. I wen teach him everythin’ an’ put him through one apprenticeship fo’ become one assistant administrator. He da bomb fo’ our business an’ help make sure everythin’ run smooth. Da oddah day, I wen make him one awesome offer. Aftah some negotiations, he wen sign da offer letter fo’ his new position as one assistant administrator. Four weeks aftah, one recruiter wen call me fo’ say my outstandin’ employee stay ’bout to sign wit somebody else. I wen confront da employee an’ he try fo’ backtrack an’ say he nevah sign wit nobody else, an’ he was jus’ “talkin'” to oddah employers.
But den he wen confide in one nurse an’ say he wen get two job offers, an’ he stay negotiatin’ da terms. He say he cannot shake da feeling dat he like go somewhere an’ be da boss. He probably can get one job as an administrator somewhere else, but I feel like he no appreciate how good I stay to him. I really saw room fo’ growth wit him. Me an’ few oddah co-workers tink he no get da finesse o’ emotional intelligence fo’ be “da boss” right now, an’ he need more experience. I stay payin’ him good. I treat him like how I like one employer fo’ treat me wen I was his age.
I wen ask him fo’ give me one year o’ professional courtesy in his current job (dat he jus’ start four weeks ago), o’ he can leave in 30 days. He say he goin’ let me know aftah two weeks wen he come back from vacation. I stay here waitin’ in suspense. Wat dis mean? I gotta start interviewin’ candidates fo’ his position? Wat if I find somebody bettah an’ cheaper? I stay hurt ’cause I feel betrayed. Is dis ’cause he one straight man an’ I one gay man, an’ he wen make it clear dat we no agree politically? He one great employee. Is loyalty to one good employer dead? Is dis one Gen Z ting?
You takin’ dis employee’s choices (no mattah how bad you tink dey stay) too personal. We suppose fo’ be good to each oddah, bof in our professional an’ personal lives. Treatin’ your staff good no mean you gotta get deference back. It shame dat social norms wen degrade to dis point. I undahstand why you feel frustrated ’cause you wen put time an’ energy into your employee. You get feelings an’ dey hurt, but you gotta separate dat from da professional decisions you gotta make. Sound like dis young man like run befo’ he can walk.
I no tink he doin’ dis ’cause you one gay man. He jus’ bein’ young an’ irresponsible. As somebody wit more experience, you know he jumpin’ da gun, but plenny people take on jobs dey no ready fo’ an’ eithah succeed o’ fail in growin’ into dose positions.
Fo’ now, jus’ wait da two weeks fo’ your employee’s decision. Sound like dat no goin’ have big impact on managin’ your operation. Wen you know if he stay o’ goin’, come up wit one plan movin’ forward. Of course, you also get da option fo’ let him go an’ start da hirin’ process fo’ somebody new, but I imagine dat mo’ fo’ heal your hurt feelings dan anytin’ else. As fo’ loyalty, I pretty sure loyalty to one “good employer” wen die wen people start realizin’ loyalty in da workplace most times only go one way.
Is Dey One Diet fo’ Diet Talk? 🥗🗣️
Some of my colleagues stay all into talkin’ ’bout diet culture at work. Some of my team members stay spendin’ way too much time (any time too much, in my opinion) talkin’ ’bout juice cleanses, cuttin’ out sugar, an’ diets. Wat one work-appropriate way fo’ ask dem fo’ stop?
People who love talkin’ ’bout diets an’ all da culture ’round ’em really love ’em o’ feel one compulsion fo’ act all good an’ disciplined, like dey stay watchin’ dey weight an’ all dat blah blah blah. Da next time your team members go off on one of dese conversations, jus’ ask if you can talk ’bout somethin’ else. O’ bring up an oddah topic.
If you feel up fo’ it, share dat you find diet talk harmful an’ you tryin’ fo’ foster one healthier, mo’ gentle relationship wit your body an’ food. Suggest some readin’ like “Fat Talk” by Virginia Sole-Smith, “Da Body No Stay One Apology” by Sonya Renee Taylor, “Wat We No Talk ‘Bout When We Talk ‘Bout Fat” by Aubrey Gordon, o’ “Weightless” by Evette Dionne. An’ know dat you can jus’ walk away too. We no can control wat oddah people like talk ’bout, but we can control wat we expose ourselves to.
NOW IN ENGLISH
😄📸 Smile! We’re Going to Remember This Forced Fun Forever
There is a graceful way to get out of group pictures. But it’s worth asking why you are so against posing for the camera.
Not Into Group Photography 🚫📸
My company is planning a retreat for the entire company. Since we are a virtual company, I am excited to meet my co-workers. But the management has planned one event that makes me cringe. They are buying everyone matching company T-shirts and taking group photos to post them on social media.
We are a small company, so I will be visible and recognizable in these photos. I am a private person and don’t use social media, but many friends, colleagues, and clients do. I am terrified at the idea of being in these photos that will be posted publicly, and anyone I know sees them, especially my clients and outside colleagues.
We are a professional services organization, and most of us are over 40 with postgraduate degrees. Group photos in matching T-shirts feel silly and unprofessional (and honestly, embarrassing). That’s the kind of thing I would expect from a start-up with young 20-somethings trying to build brand recognition, not from us seasoned professionals.
Is there any way for me to opt out of this without looking like a major party-pooper?
Your reaction to this not-so-harmful team-building activity is way too strong. Why is that? Now, I hate taking my picture, and I’m not a big fan of mandatory fun, so I don’t judge you for not liking group photos. But what is so embarrassing about wearing a company T-shirt with your co-workers? Why would anyone in your life think something negative or judgmental if they see those pictures? Maybe it’s silly, but that doesn’t mean it’s unprofessional.
I understand that you don’t like doing this, but people over 40 with advanced degrees still take group photos sometimes. If you don’t want to take the group photo, there’s no need to. It will be alright. Just tell your co-workers that you would like to opt out. You don’t need to explain yourself. You can set boundaries. I hope the rest of the retreat is awesome.
What Do I Really Owe? 🎓💼
I recently completed my master’s degree, all thanks to my company’s tuition reimbursement program. Since my employer took care of the financial part of my education, I owe them three more years of work, or else I have to pay back the full amount they reimbursed me.
In many organizations, usually a higher degree would mean a higher salary, although it’s not guaranteed. Still, this was a big reason why I wanted to pursue a graduate degree. My yearly review is coming up, and I would love to discuss the possibility of getting a raise now that I have a master’s. But since my organization paid for it, I feel like I can’t ask for it.
I have also been hoping to get a promotion, but I have been told that we don’t have the budget for it. I have already spent three years in my current position, and I am doing work that goes way beyond my job description. How can I negotiate this when the organization has already invested a lot of money in me through my education? I understand that they technically paid me with the degree, but I still feel like I deserve some recognition for the hard work I put in to get that degree and the extra work I have been doing that falls outside the scope of my current job. This is leaving me frustrated with my job, but I don’t have the option to apply for other jobs because I can’t afford to take on the debt from my master’s degree.
Your job didn’t pay you with a degree. The tuition reimbursement is a benefit that employers offer to attract and retain talented people. You can be grateful for the benefit, but you earned it. You don’t owe your employer anything except continuing to do your job well and staying for the next three years, as they stated.
If you think you deserve a raise, ask for a raise. Unless it’s a very small company, I doubt your manager is even thinking about the fact that you took advantage of the tuition reimbursement benefit. Make some notes for yourself about why you deserve a raise and/or promotion, and when you feel the time is right, make your case. You might not get what you want, but there’s no harm in asking.
Now, as for recognition for the work you put in to get your degree, sure, everyone likes to feel recognized. But this is your employer we’re talking about. They benefit from your advanced education, but they’re not family or friends, so they’re not going to really care about the work you did, on your own accord, for self-improvement. Look for that validation somewhere else.
A Little Gratitude Would Be Nice 🤝💼
I’m 37, and I’m a manager at a nursing home. I hired an outstanding employee two years ago when he was still fresh out of college. I taught him everything and put him through an apprenticeship to become an assistant administrator. He is great for our business and helps ensure everything runs smoothly. Recently, I made him an excellent offer. After some negotiations, he signed the offer letter for his new position as an assistant administrator. Four weeks later, a recruiter called me to say that my outstanding employee is about to sign with somebody else. I confronted the employee, and he tried to backtrack and say that he hasn’t signed with anybody else, and that he was only “talking” to other employers.
But then he confided in a nurse and said that he got two job offers, and he was negotiating the terms. He said he can’t shake the feeling that he wants to go somewhere and be the boss. He probably can get a job as an administrator somewhere else, but I feel like he doesn’t appreciate how good I have been to him. I really saw room for growth with him. Me and a few other co-workers think he lacks the finesse and emotional intelligence to be “the boss” right now, and he needs more experience. I am paying him well. I treat him how I would have wanted an employer to treat me when I was his age.
I asked him to either give me one year of professional courtesy in his current job (which he just started four weeks ago), or leave in 30 days. He said he’ll let me know in two weeks when he returns from vacation. I am left waiting in suspense. Does this mean I should be interviewing candidates for his position? What if I find someone better and cheaper? I am hurt because I feel betrayed. Is this because he is a straight man and I am a gay man, and he has made it clear that we don’t agree politically? He’s a great employee. Is loyalty to a good employer dead? Is this a Gen Z thing?
You’re taking this employee’s choices (no matter how bad you think they are) too personally. We’re supposed to be good to one another, both in our professional and personal lives. Treating your staff well doesn’t mean you have to get deference in return. It’s a shame that social norms have degraded to this point. I understand why you feel frustrated because you have invested time and energy into your employee. You have feelings, and they’re hurt, but you need to separate that from the professional decisions you need to make. It sounds like this young man wants to run before he can walk.
I don’t think he is doing this because you’re a gay man. He’s just being young and irresponsible. As someone with more experience, you know he is jumping the gun, but plenty of people take on jobs they’re not ready for and either succeed or fail in growing into those positions.
For now, just wait the two weeks for your employee’s decision. It doesn’t sound like that will greatly affect the management of your operation. When you know if he is staying or going, develop a plan for moving forward. Of course, you also have the option to let him go and start the hiring process for someone new, but I imagine that would be more for healing your hurt feelings than anything else. As for loyalty, I’m pretty sure loyalty to a “good employer” died when people started realizing that loyalty in the workplace goes only in one direction most of the time.
Is There a Diet for Diet Talk? 🥗🗣️
Some of my colleagues are really into talking about diet culture at work. Some of my team members spend too much time (any time is too much, in my opinion) talking about juice cleanses, cutting out sugar, and diets. What’s a work-appropriate way to ask them to stop?
People who love talking about diets and all the culture surrounding them really seem to love it or feel a compulsion to perform being good, disciplined people who watch their weight and all that blah blah blah. The next time your team members go off on one of these conversations, just ask if you can talk about something else. Or bring up a different topic.
If you’re feeling up for it, share that you find diet talk harmful and you’re trying to foster a healthier, more gentle relationship with your body and food. Suggest some reading like “Fat Talk” by Virginia Sole-Smith, “The Body Is Not an Apology” by Sonya Renee Taylor, “What We Don’t Talk About When We Talk About Fat” by Aubrey Gordon, or “Weightless” by Evette Dionne. And know that you can just walk away too. We can’t necessarily control what others want to talk about, but we can control what we’re willing to expose ourselves to.
