🏠🌴 Da Provincetown, Mass. Stay Get One Matchmaker Fo Help Da Desperate Find Housing! 🏡💪
Plenny extreme conditions, brah, wen make dis remote town on top Cape Cod get one housing market dat stay more scary den Da Nightmarchers, yeah? 😱🌃
Soon as Dan McKeon wen see da post on top Facebook from one young wahine, yeah, she stay looking fo summer housing fo her boyfriend, he know wat goin’ happen. 👀💭💡
Mr. McKeon, he da kine unofficial “housing matchmaker” ova dea in Provincetown, way out dea on top Cape Cod. Dey get plenny unreal situations ova dea — no moa nuff houses fo sale, everybody like come during da summertime, an’ da businesses stay depend on da seasonal workers. All dis stuff wen make da housing market ova dea one beeg headache, man. 🏘️🤯🌞🔥
Inside his Facebook group, everybody stay posting selfies an’ begging fo help fo find housing. Once in awhile, Mr. McKeon an’ da oddahs go post wen get houses fo rent. Not on da internet an’ inside da local social scene, Mr. McKeon stay telling da homeowners fo open up dea extra rooms fo da desperate newcomers. He stay sharing secret tips fo searching an’ he make shua everybody looking fo rent, whea evah dey stay from, feel welcome, yeah? 📸📝🤝🏠🌍
But, dis one April day, da wahine’s post, she stay looking fo one room fo $700 per month, wen make plenny people inside da group — get 2,400 people, by da way — start fo mock her. Mr. McKeon, he know dat goin’ happen, brah. “Nobody wen tell you, yeah? It’s impossible fo find dat kine rent fo $700/month,” one person wen write. “But dat’s da kine rent we had in da late 1990s!” 😂🤷♂️💰💸
Da housing market ova dea, da kine kind local people going nuts fo get housing, no joke. Da median price fo one single-family home stay at $1.9 million dis past month, and plenny houses stay get turned into Airbnb rentals. You like look fo one apartment? You lucky if you find one, cause stay rare, rare, rare, yeah? 🏡💲💔🚫
“No moa anybody stay safe,” Mr. McKeon said. He stay 68 years old an’ he wen fall in love wit Provincetown wen he was 15 years old. He wen retire ova dea in 2009, an’ he stay live by rent. “No mattah if you get money, or if you been ova dea long time — if you rent, you gotta go through dis nightmare.” 😫😥💔
He know dat nightmare, yeah? He stay gotta move his stuff three times already. An’ now he gotta move again, next year, cause his landlord like take back da house an’ live inside da whole year. He stay hate move, cause he really love da house. 😤📦🚚🔁❤️
Mr. McKeon, he stay volunteer his time fo help people find housing. Nobody pay him, he do um cause he like help people, an’ he know wat it’s like fo dream fo live ova dea in Provincetown. He stay worry too, dat if everybody stay mean to each oddah, online an’ all dat, da good vibes dat make dis town special goin’ disappear. So, aftah everybody stay make fun of da wahine looking fo da $700 room, he wen send her one message fo give her support, an’ he wen tell da group fo be kind. 🤝💙✉️🏡🌈
“I not Oprah, o Dr. Phil,” he wen say wen we wen talk to him. “Dis my housing page.” 🙅♂️🎥📺🏘️
Long time ago, Provincetown stay get plenny artists, gay an’ lesbian people, an’ oddah folks who like do dea own ting. Everybody like come dea, even tho’ da town stay far an’ small. You gotta drive 116 miles from Boston fo come hea, but if you take da ferry, you only gotta go half as far. Da houses ova dea stay all gray an’ shingled, an’ you see white picket fences all ova da place. It stay surrounded by watah on three sides, an’ dea stay miles an’ miles of big sand dunes dat belong to da Cape Cod National Seashore. 🌊🏡🌴
During da wintertime, not too much people stay dea. Ony get 3,600 local residents. But, den come summertime, da place get packed wit 60,000 people. You get da beaches, bars, an’ sidewalks all jam-packed wit people — some rich folks who only come fo da summertime, an’ da oddahs who stay ova dea all year long. You get plenny people from da L.G.B.T.Q. community, an’ you get international students too, who come fo work in da hotels, galleries, an’ restaurants wit dem short-term J1 visas. 🏖️🌈🍹👬🌍
You know, no moa place like dis, no mattah wea you go. It stay like one siren song fo plenny people. But, da buggah stay like one kine dream, yeah? It stay so unreal, nobody can get rental housing. 🎵💭🚫🏘️
Da people on top Mr. McKeon’s Facebook page, dey stay pouring out dea hearts, brah. Dey all get big dreams, but den da reality slap um in da face. Everybody going nuts fo find housing befo’ da tourist season start on top Memorial Day weekend. We get one doctor coming fo’ start one new job. We get two students from Bulgaria, an’ dey stay saying dey like one clean place, an’ dey no like stay in one messy house. We get one muddah from Utah too, an’ she stay looking fo’ one safe place fo’ raise her transgender daughter. 👨⚕️🎓🏡🚺💙
But even da people dat stay dea long time stay going nuts too. Francine Kraniotakis, she stay run her family’s restaurant, George’s Pizza. She wen put out one post on Mr. McKeon’s Facebook group back in April. She say her landlord wen tell her she gotta move out by June, aftah she stay rent dat place fo’ nine years. She stay live close to da restaurant, an’ her parents, who stay get old, live upstairs. 🍕🍽️🏡📅
“Man, I stay so stressed out,” she wen say back in May, sitting outside on top da patio, da wind blowing, at da pizza place. Her faddah, George Kraniotakis, he wen come from Greece, an’ he wen plant all kine grapevines by da restaurant. He take care of um every summah. 🍇🌞🍷
Francine wen ask her landlord fo’ moa time. She wen offer fo’ pay moa rent. She wen even find like one dozen leads fo’ housing. But, she no can find one affordable place she like dat stay close to work. Da restaurant stay having hard time getting people fo’ work, so she gotta be dea all da time fo’ fix all da problems. 😫💸💼🔧
Da leaders ova dea in Provincetown, dey know how unreal dis housing situation stay. Dey stay going crazy fo’ try fix um. Da town stay building 65 rental units fo’ people fo’ stay dea all year long. Dey stay building um whea da VFW hall used to be, yeah? An’ get one private developer too, dat get plans fo’ create 100 units fo’ da seasonal workers. Brah, da businesses ova dea stay desperate fo’ workers, yeah? 💪🏢🏘️👷♀️👨🍳
Dis housing problem, da people dea, dey know all about um. An’ dis housing problem stay raising plenny questions about wat’s goin’ happen to Provincetown. 🏘️❓🌴
NOW IN ENGLISH
🏠🌴 Provincetown, Massachusetts: A Matchmaker Helps the Desperate Find Housing! 🏡💪
Extreme conditions have turned the housing market in this remote Cape Cod town into a nightmare scarier than Da Nightmarchers, you know? 😱🌃
As soon as Dan McKeon came across a Facebook post by a young woman seeking summer housing for her boyfriend, he knew exactly what was going to happen. 👀💭💡
Mr. McKeon serves as an unofficial “housing matchmaker” in Provincetown, situated on the far edge of Cape Cod. The town faces numerous challenges, including limited housing stock, high demand during the summer months, and a heavy reliance on seasonal workers. All of these factors have transformed the local housing market into a major headache. 🏘️🤯🌞🔥
Within his Facebook group, people share selfies and make desperate pleas for housing assistance. Occasionally, Mr. McKeon and others in the group post available rental listings. Online and in local social circles, Mr. McKeon encourages homeowners to open up their unused rooms to newcomers in need, provides insider tips for housing searches, and strives to create an environment where everyone, regardless of their background or residency status, feels welcome. 📸📝🤝🏠🌍
However, on one April day, a woman’s post requesting a room for $700 per month sparked a mocking backlash among some of the group’s 2,400 members, as Mr. McKeon had anticipated. “Clearly, no one has told you it’s impossible,” read one response. “But $700 per month is more like rent from the late 1990s.” 😂🤷♂️💰💸
The housing market in Provincetown has driven local residents to the brink. The median sales price for a single-family home reached $1.9 million last month, and many houses have been converted into Airbnb rentals. Finding an apartment is a rare feat, with vacancies being almost nonexistent. 🏡💲💔🚫
“No one is safe from this,” emphasized Mr. McKeon, a 68-year-old retiree who fell in love with Provincetown at the age of 15 and settled there in 2009. “It doesn’t matter if you have money or if you’ve been here for a long time. If you’re a renter, you’re bound to go through this nightmare.” 😫😥💔
Having experienced the turmoil of the housing market himself, Mr. McKeon volunteers his time as a housing guru, helping others navigate the challenges. Apart from his housing matchmaker role, he works as a photographer in town. He is motivated by his own dream of living in Provincetown and his desire to preserve the town’s welcoming and harmonious atmosphere, even in the online realm. In response to the scornful reactions towards the woman seeking the $700 room, Mr. McKeon messaged her to offer support and sternly reminded the group to be kind. 🤝💙✉️🏡🌈
“I’m not Oprah or Dr. Phil,” he clarified during an interview. “This is my housing page.” 🙅♂️🎥📺🏘️
Provincetown has long been a haven for artists, LGBTQ+ travelers, and free-spirited individuals seeking a place to express themselves. Despite its distance and small size, the town attracts visitors from far and wide. It is a 116-mile drive from Boston or a shorter ferry ride. The houses in Provincetown have gray shingles and are surrounded by white picket fences. The town is bordered on three sides by water and boasts vast sand dunes that form part of the Cape Cod National Seashore. 🌊🏡🌴
During the winter, the town becomes windswept and quiet, with only around 3,600 residents remaining. However, in the summer, the population swells to 60,000 people. The beaches, bars, and sidewalks become bustling with a vibrant mix of wealthy summer residents, LGBTQ+ travelers, year-round locals, and international students who arrive with short-term J1 visas to work in hotels, galleries, and restaurants. 🏖️🌈🍹👬🌍
There is truly no place like Provincetown, with its irresistible allure captivating the hearts of many. Unfortunately, the dream of living in this idyllic town has become increasingly unattainable, especially when it comes to rental housing. 🎵💭🚫🏘️
The posts on Mr. McKeon’s Facebook page reflect the emotional turmoil and clash between dreams and harsh realities. As the tourist season approaches, individuals such as a doctor starting a new job, two students from Bulgaria seeking cleanliness and orderliness, and a mother from Utah searching for a safe place to raise her transgender daughter, all join the chorus of those desperately seeking housing. 👨⚕️🎓🏡🚺💙
Even long-time residents are not spared from the housing crisis. Francine Kraniotakis, who manages her family’s restaurant, George’s Pizza, found herself in a distressing situation. After renting an apartment for nine years, her landlord informed her that she needed to move out by June. The apartment’s proximity to the restaurant and her aging parents, who live upstairs, made the situation all the more challenging. 🍕🍽️🏡📅
“I’m incredibly stressed,” she shared in May, sitting on the breezy patio outside the pizza place, where her father, George Kraniotakis, tends to the grapevines he planted. Her attempts to negotiate for more time, offer increased rent, and search for alternative housing options proved futile. The restaurant faced frequent staffing shortages, further exacerbating the difficulties. 😫💸💼🔧
Local leaders in Provincetown are acutely aware of the housing predicament and the implications it holds for the town’s future. Efforts have been intensified to address the issue. The town is constructing 65 year-round rental units on the former site of a VFW hall, according to the town’s housing director, Michelle Jarusiewicz. Additionally, a private developer has plans to create 100 dorm-style accommodations for seasonal workers, who are in high demand by local businesses. 💪🏢🏘️👷♀️👨🍳
This housing problem resonates deeply with the people of Provincetown and raises important questions about the town’s trajectory. 🏘️❓🌴
