🌴💔 Divorce Get Chance Fo’ Mess Up One Wahine’s Money Future, But No Fret, We Get Ways Fo’ Fix

Da reality of divorce can be tough fo’ plenty wahines. Get times when da savings an’ retirement money take one big hit. But da trick stay in da planny-planny fo’ bounce back. 📉💸📈

I rememba 20 years ago, wen I was hanabata days wit my daughta, one of my mom frens tell me something dat was kinda futah predicting. She tell me, wen da baby come, me an’ my husband going have to divvy up da work, an’ most times, dat work going split down da middle along da same ol’ lines. I was thinking “Nah, no way”, but turns out she was right. I was just one small-kine writer working freelance, and I wen end up taking care stay home wit da keiki and take care da hale. My husband was working at da university, an’ he had all da kine access to financial advice and retirement fund. So, he wen handle all da money stuff fo’ both of us. 💼💰👪

We had two incomes, but wasn’t exactly making us rich, so we wen pool all our resources together. Seem like da smart thing to do, until we wen separate couple years ago. I had small-kine I.R.A. for myself, but since da university was matching my husband’s retirement savings, we wen use most of my income for pay da monthly bills an’ most of his for put into one 401(k) in his name. Da plan was dat would cover us both wen we pau work. 🏦💵🏦

But wen da divorce papers wen get signed, I wen realize I was in one precarious situation. I had let go my control over my own financial future. Now I gotta deal with less money coming in, plus all da extra kala I gotta spend on da divorce. To get back control going be rough. 😕💔💸

And I not da only one. Divorced peeps in America more likely than da ones who never wen get divorce for no have enough savings fo’ retire at 65 an’ live da same way they used to, according to one study by da Center for Retirement Research at Boston College. Mo’ often, da moms take da big hit, ’cause they gotta take care da keiki an’ often no can work as much. An’ sistahs who stay one different color get even mo’ hard time ’cause da pay gap even bigger. 📚💔💰

One financial therapist from New York, Aja Evans, say plenty of her clients in their 30s an’ 40s feel like they stay behind where they supposed to be in terms of retirement savings, including da ones going through divorce. Get plenty shame, plenty guilt, ’cause they feel like they should’ve saved more. 😟💔💰

Maria Cancian, dean of da McCourt School of Public Policy at Georgetown University, say wen you stay married, you can rely on each other and da family health insurance wen one spouse get laid off or get sick. But wen you single, it’s harder ’cause you lose economies of scale. Now you gotta pay for two places to live, two cars, two emergency funds, an’ so on. 🏡🚗💰

For some people, it takes years for get back on top. One licensed therapist from Tucson, Debra Kaplan, took 10 years for regain da standard of living she had before her divorce, slowly making mo’ kala an’ putting some aside fo’ da unexpected stuff, as well as retirement. 🏃‍♀️⏳💵

So, how you suppose to negotiate your retirement an’ joint savings? New York an’ 40 oddah states say when couple get divorce, dey gotta divide up all da stuff dey wen get while dey was married, including da debts. But get plenny ways how dey can decide who get what, an’ sometimes get things dat can stop you from getting your share. 🏛️💔💸

Sometimes, you might like less of your spouse’s 401(k) an’ Social Security benefits an’ mo’ of da joint savings fo’ pay da health insurance aftah you not on your spouse’s plan anymore. Or maybe you guys sell da house an’ split da money, an’ you no like any of your spouse’s retirement money. 👫💔💸

Da divorce lawyers usually da ones who help make dese kind deals. But Kristina George, one wealth manager an’ partner at Northstar Financial Planning in Windham, N.H., say sometimes lawyers no undahstand all da tax stuffs dat come wit certain assets, so dey “trade assets” in ways dat not pono. 💼🏦💔

One of da big changes dat come wit divorce is how da taxes work. Da first time one wahine file taxes as head of household, can be rough. So, George suggest make sure you get one tax projection along wit da divorce decree. 🏦💔💸

Without da right help, either one can end up in hot watah. Get plenty stories about peeps who had to move ’cause aftah dey wen sell da house, dey couldn’t afford da housing market prices. So, dey had to move somewhere else fo’ make da most of da retirement money. 🏘️💔💸

Dawn Pick Benson, 50, is one copywriter an’ travel coach from Grand Rapids, Mich. When she wen file fo’ divorce from her husband of 18 years in 2018, she had one lawyer ready fo’ negotiate da division of everything – da house, da sailboat, two cars, joint savings an’ checking accounts an’ individual savings an’ retirement accounts fo’ each spouse. But she neva know what kind division made sense fo’ da long run, or what kine trouble she’d get into if da lawyer wen make da wrong choice. 🚢🚗💔💸

In one panic, she wen contact Liza Caldwell, one of da founders of SAS for Women, an’ organization dat offers divorce coaching an’ oddah educational resources. Ms. Caldwell recommend one certified divorce financial analyst who told Ms. Benson fo’ hold on to her house, since she could rent it out when she travel fo’ help pay off da mortgage. 🏠💰🌎

For get this kine help, sometimes gotta stretch da budget. Especially if you already been paying fo’ divorce lawyers an’ mediators. But get plenty online support groups out dea to help educate yourself bettah. SAS for Women even offers free events, like one seminar called “Preparing Your Financials for the Negotiation Table.” Da last time it was posted, Caldwell said, 248 women signed up right away. 📚👩‍💼💔

Plenty resources out dea. Books get plenty info, too. Aja Evans, da financial therapist from New York, recommend da books by da “Budgetnista” Tiffany Aliche. 📚💡💰

Fo’ some wah ines, even though the road to comfortable retirement going be tough, dey say you still can rebuild your retirement fund no matter how old you stay. But, older wahines going have harder time. “Da wahines in dea mid-60s, who done working, get plenny hard time fo’ bounce back, an’ dey one growing part” of da divorced population, says Ms. George. In fact, da wahines who get divorce lata in life see dea standard of living drop 45 percent. Wit dese clients, Ms. George stay focusing on splitting up what retirement kala dey get left an’ looking into stuff like reverse mortgages fo’ try keep dea homes and living standards. 🏡💰👵🏽

If you get mo’ time, Ms. George get three-part plan fo’ you: first, review your budget. Den, pay off your debts so you can start one emergency fund. Finally, figure out how fo’ replace da retirement money. 💸📝🔍

Ms. Sparks, da divorce financial analyst, tell her clients fo’ try put away 30 percent of dea earnings fo’ retirement, an’ split ’em up between living expenses, fun money, an’ costs fo’ when dey get old. This, says Ms. Kaplan, da therapist from Tucson, going take frugal living: “No going get plenny nights out an’ no going get plenny vacations.” 🚫🍸🚫✈️

Even though facing one future where you gotta handle all da kala can be scary, can also feel empowering. For me, being forced fo’ look real hard at how much I make an’ how far can stretch ’em has made me more careful in figuring out how fo’ cut costs so I can put mo’ into my monthly I.R.A. contributions. An’ get satisfaction in watching ’em grow, even if small kine slow. This kine control is one relief — one I wish I wen give myself long time ago. 💪💰🙌

So, remember, no mattah how hard, can always rebuild. Gotta stay strong, stay smart, an’ stay planning. Take da chance fo’ empower yourself an’ take control of your own financial future. 💪💰🔮

Remember, in da end, no mattah what, we all in dis togedah. So, no scared, go out dea an’ take control of your financial future. You can do ’em! 💪💰🌈🤙🏽

Aloha and mahalo fo’ reading, guys! 🌺🤙🏽🌈🏝️🙏🏽

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NOW IN ENGLISH

🌴💔 Divorce Can Ruin a Woman’s Financial Future, But Don’t Worry, We Have Solutions

The reality of divorce can be harsh for many women. There are times when savings and retirement funds take a severe blow. But the key lies in planning for recovery. 📉💸📈

I remember 20 years ago, when I was a young mother, a friend of my mom’s foretold something. She said that when the baby comes, my husband and I would have to share the work, and often, that work would split along traditional lines. I was skeptical, but she turned out to be right. I was a freelance writer and ended up staying at home with the child and managing the house. My husband worked at a university and had access to financial advice and retirement fund. So, he managed the finances for both of us. 💼💰👪

We had two incomes, but we weren’t rich, so we pooled all our resources together. It seemed like a smart thing to do, until we separated a few years later. I had a small Individual Retirement Account (IRA) for myself, but as the university was matching my husband’s retirement savings, we used most of my income to pay the monthly bills, and most of his to contribute to a 401(k) in his name. The plan was that it would cover both of us once we retired. 🏦💵🏦

But when the divorce papers were signed, I realized I was in a precarious situation. I had relinquished my control over my financial future. Now I had less income and had to deal with the additional costs of the divorce. Regaining control was going to be tough. 😕💔💸

And I’m not alone. Divorced people in America are more likely than those who have never been divorced to lack enough savings to retire at 65 and maintain their lifestyle, according to a study by the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College. Often, mothers bear the brunt, as they need to care for the children and often can’t work as much. And women of color face an even tougher time due to a larger pay gap. 📚💔💰

A financial therapist from New York, Aja Evans, says many of her clients in their 30s and 40s feel that they are behind where they should be in terms of retirement savings, including those going through divorce. There’s a lot of shame and guilt, as they feel like they should’ve saved more. 😟💔💰

Maria Cancian, dean of the McCourt School of Public Policy at Georgetown University, says that when you’re married, you can rely on each other and family health insurance if one spouse gets laid off or sick. But when you’re single, it’s harder as you lose economies of scale. Now you have to pay for two places to live, two cars, two emergency funds, and so on. 🏡🚗💰

For some people, it takes years to recover. A licensed therapist from Tucson, Debra Kaplan, took 10 years to regain the standard of living she had before her divorce, gradually earning more and setting aside money for unexpected expenses, as well as retirement. 🏃‍♀️⏳💵

So, how are you supposed to negotiate your retirement and joint savings? New York and 40 other states mandate that when a couple divorces, they have to divide all the assets they acquired during marriage, including the debts. But there are many ways they can decide who gets what, and sometimes there are barriers to receiving your share. 🏛️💔💸

Sometimes, you may prefer less of your spouse’s 401(k) and Social Security benefits and more of the joint savings to pay for health insurance after you’re no longer on your spouse’s plan. Or perhaps you both sell the house and split the money, and you don’t want any of your spouse’s retirement money. 👫💔💸

Divorce lawyers are usually the ones who help make these kinds of deals. But Kristina George, a wealth manager and partner at Northstar Financial Planning in Windham, N.H., says sometimes lawyers don’t understand all the tax implications that come with certain assets, so they “trade assets” in ways that aren’t beneficial. 💼🏦💔

One of the significant changes that come with divorce is how taxes work. The first time a woman files taxes as the head of household, it can be tough. So, George suggests making sure you get a tax projection along with the divorce decree. 🏦💔💸

Without the right help, either party can end up in hot water. There are many stories about people who had to move because, after they sold the house, they couldn’t afford the housing market prices. So, they had to move somewhere else to make the most of their retirement money. 🏘️💔💸

Dawn Pick Benson, 50, is a copywriter and travel coach from Grand Rapids, Mich. When she filed for divorce from her husband of 18 years in 2018, she had a lawyer ready to negotiate the division of everything – the house, the sailboat, two cars, joint savings and checking accounts, and individual savings and retirement accounts for each spouse. But she didn’t know what kind of division made sense in the long run, or what kind of trouble she’d get into if the lawyer made the wrong choice. 🚢🚗💔💸

In a panic, she contacted Liza Caldwell, one of the founders of SAS for Women, an organization that offers divorce coaching and other educational resources. Ms. Caldwell recommended a certified divorce financial analyst who advised Ms. Benson to hold on to her house, as she could rent it out when she travels to help pay off the mortgage. 🏠💰🌎

To get this kind of help, sometimes you have to stretch your budget. Especially if you have already been paying for divorce lawyers and mediators. But there are plenty of online support groups out there to help educate yourself better. SAS for Women even offers free events, like a seminar called “Preparing Your Financials for the Negotiation Table.” The last time it was posted, Caldwell said, 248 women signed up immediately. 📚👩‍💼💔

There are plenty of resources out there. Books also have a lot of information. Aja Evans, the financial therapist from New York, recommends books by the “Budgetnista” Tiffany Aliche. 📚💡💰

For some women, even though the journey to a comfortable retirement will be tough, they say you can still rebuild your retirement fund no matter how old you are. But, older women will have a harder time. “Women in their mid-60s, who are done working, have a very tough time bouncing back, and they’re a growing part” of the divorced population, says Ms. George. In fact, women who divorce later in life see their standard of living drop by 45 percent. With these clients, Ms. George focuses on dividing up what remaining retirement funds they have and looking into options like reverse mortgages to try to maintain their homes and living standards. 🏡💰👵🏽

If you have more time, Ms. George has a three-part plan for you: first, review your budget. Then, pay off your debts so you can start an emergency fund. Finally, figure out how to replace the retirement money. 💸📝🔍

Ms. Sparks, the divorce financial analyst, advises her clients to try and put away 30 percent of their earnings for retirement, split between living expenses, fun money, and costs for when they get old. This, says Ms. Kaplan, the therapist from Tucson, will require frugal living: “There won’t be many nights out and not many vacations.” 🚫🍸🚫✈️

Even though facing a future where you have to handle all the finances can be scary, it can also feel empowering. For me, being forced to look closely at how much I make and how far I can stretch it has made me more careful in figuring out how to cut costs so I can put more into my monthly I.R.A. contributions. And there’s satisfaction in watching them grow, even if it’s slowly. This kind of control is a relief — one I wish I had given myself a long time ago. 💪💰🙌

So, remember, no matter how hard, you can always rebuild. You must stay strong, stay smart, and keep planning. Take the chance to empower yourself and take control of your own financial future. 💪💰🔮

Remember, in the end, no matter what, we’re all in this together. So, don’t be scared, go out there and take control of your financial future. You can do it! 💪💰🌈🤙🏽

Thank you for reading, guys! 🌺🤙🏽🌈🏝️🙏🏽